we sell crystal meth

apparently, the new atempo slogan for selling our core product, time navigator (nicknamed TiNa), isn’t taking off quite as expected. research found that TiNa is actually street slang for crystal meth and so we’re attracting a whole different type of clientele.

if you still have your teeth, then check out these links:

ultra-lazy lady pushing her baby around on a stroller…while on a segway [gizmodo]

a very detailed write-up of how big the starship enterprise really is [rfjason.com]

putanginamo! learn to swear in any language (slight nsfw ads) [youswear.com]

and

google has introduced a street-level view of various cities in their google maps application, including san francisco. for example, here’s at&t park, where the giants play. also recently caught on camera was this man leaving the famous mitchell brothers strip club in the middle of the day with a grin on his face. caught!

UPDATE: mashable.com has the top 15 google earth sightings so far, including perv guy coming out of the o’farrell theatre.

happy thursday!

eating something green

it took the daughter 15 years, but she finally ate her first vegetable.

it was pretty much by accident as she scarfed down some chicken dish from panda express when this weird green thing entered her mouth. she continued to chew until she realized what it was at which point the legume intruder was forcefully ejected on the plate. no rash has shown up as of yet, but we’ll keep the vigil going through the night and report back in the morning. let’s all hope that she pulls through this unfortunate turn of events.

i got robbed a little

so, this morning i head to my car and find the center console door opened up with a couple things hanging out and also find the glove box door opened. i appear to be the victim of a simple auto robbery outside of my own house. i had an ipod inside the center console and that was gone. i had some other stuff in the car, but it was left untouched. i usually park my cars inside the garage but i had been storing the audi in there while i’m selling it and parking the civic in the driveway. so, i guess i was lucky that i only had a little bit inside the car. no sign of forced entry means that the door must have been unlocked. oh yeah, they took the flea medicine for the cats that was in the front seat. nice. the lesson learned in all of this? buy a gun and sleep on your porch.

chicken apple sausage links

the free food samples at costco are always better when you’re shopping than when you bring them home, like the chicken apple sausages. why is that? ponder and enjoy the following.

enter your birthdate and find out events on that day in history [kakorama]

americans really know very little about religion [wpost]

will ferrell tribute #1: as george bush

and will ferrell tribute #2: talking to his landlord

The Landlord

what a weekend

attended liz’s memorial day get-together at her place on saturday night. the last couple hours were foggy but apparently i was dancing for at least a small portion of the night. i was skeptical of this news because felicia also added that i was ‘dancing well’. if anyone has seen me dance, they know it resembles a handicapped person having a seizure. i still want to see some proof. below, two fine ladies with authentic costumes rasslin’ around 3am:

recovered on sunday and had a little family bbq on monday. marcos was in good spirits even though it looks like he’s coming down with some rashy-type thing. could just be heat rash, but could be the pox. yikes. looks like my intense coaching has helped him take more photogenic pictures.

also, the nerdy news of the weekend is that i got our exchange server working well at home. still need a good spam graylister on the smtp server, but otherwise we’re in decent shape. sonic has agreed to backup mx my server. tite!

memorial links

i managed to fritter another week away without much to show for it. i’m hoping i can make something happen during this long holiday weekend. read these stories to prepare yourself for your three days off:

debt collectors punch mom in the face, in front of her kid [boston herald]

real snakes on a plane – gotta fire that tsa baggage checker [cnn]

some notes left for friends [passive agressive]

and

i wish al gore would run again, but he won’t [time]

i mean, the guy rocks three 3o” apple monitors side-by-side:

maintain your privacy

so, at work and once in a while at home, i’ll walk by someone using the computer and i notice them doing a quick minimize or window switch to hide what they were looking at. i doubt it’s particularly dirty, but its probably something not related to what they should be doing. alyssa might hide a myspace page with her homework website and someone at work might be hiding an irc chat session with a work website. it’s obvious what they are doing, usually. if this happens once in a while, not a big deal, but for some people, every time you walk by (especially if you walk quietly), there’s some quick mouse action to cover up their wrongdoing.

for these people, i have found this privacy shroud to prevent the casual over-the-shoulder eavesdropping at what might be happening on the screen. the middle frame shows a travel-size “mobile shroud” for blackberry use on-the-go.

slow week so far

sorry to my three readers – there hasn’t been much happening lately. however, i did see this picture of jorge posada diving into the stands to get a foul ball at a recent yankees game.

i like that guy’s face in the stands. leslee taught me a word for that – JOTITO.

happy friday!

this shirt would be good for flee because she’s always lmao’ing when chatting, even though i suspect her face is making no motions whatsoever while she’s typing that.