we sell crystal meth

apparently, the new atempo slogan for selling our core product, time navigator (nicknamed TiNa), isn’t taking off quite as expected. research found that TiNa is actually street slang for crystal meth and so we’re attracting a whole different type of clientele.

if you still have your teeth, then check out these links:

ultra-lazy lady pushing her baby around on a stroller…while on a segway [gizmodo]

a very detailed write-up of how big the starship enterprise really is [rfjason.com]

putanginamo! learn to swear in any language (slight nsfw ads) [youswear.com]

and

google has introduced a street-level view of various cities in their google maps application, including san francisco. for example, here’s at&t park, where the giants play. also recently caught on camera was this man leaving the famous mitchell brothers strip club in the middle of the day with a grin on his face. caught!

UPDATE: mashable.com has the top 15 google earth sightings so far, including perv guy coming out of the o’farrell theatre.

happy thursday!

i got robbed a little

so, this morning i head to my car and find the center console door opened up with a couple things hanging out and also find the glove box door opened. i appear to be the victim of a simple auto robbery outside of my own house. i had an ipod inside the center console and that was gone. i had some other stuff in the car, but it was left untouched. i usually park my cars inside the garage but i had been storing the audi in there while i’m selling it and parking the civic in the driveway. so, i guess i was lucky that i only had a little bit inside the car. no sign of forced entry means that the door must have been unlocked. oh yeah, they took the flea medicine for the cats that was in the front seat. nice. the lesson learned in all of this? buy a gun and sleep on your porch.

chicken apple sausage links

the free food samples at costco are always better when you’re shopping than when you bring them home, like the chicken apple sausages. why is that? ponder and enjoy the following.

enter your birthdate and find out events on that day in history [kakorama]

americans really know very little about religion [wpost]

will ferrell tribute #1: as george bush

and will ferrell tribute #2: talking to his landlord

The Landlord

memorial links

i managed to fritter another week away without much to show for it. i’m hoping i can make something happen during this long holiday weekend. read these stories to prepare yourself for your three days off:

debt collectors punch mom in the face, in front of her kid [boston herald]

real snakes on a plane – gotta fire that tsa baggage checker [cnn]

some notes left for friends [passive agressive]

and

i wish al gore would run again, but he won’t [time]

i mean, the guy rocks three 3o” apple monitors side-by-side:

maintain your privacy

so, at work and once in a while at home, i’ll walk by someone using the computer and i notice them doing a quick minimize or window switch to hide what they were looking at. i doubt it’s particularly dirty, but its probably something not related to what they should be doing. alyssa might hide a myspace page with her homework website and someone at work might be hiding an irc chat session with a work website. it’s obvious what they are doing, usually. if this happens once in a while, not a big deal, but for some people, every time you walk by (especially if you walk quietly), there’s some quick mouse action to cover up their wrongdoing.

for these people, i have found this privacy shroud to prevent the casual over-the-shoulder eavesdropping at what might be happening on the screen. the middle frame shows a travel-size “mobile shroud” for blackberry use on-the-go.

slow week so far

sorry to my three readers – there hasn’t been much happening lately. however, i did see this picture of jorge posada diving into the stands to get a foul ball at a recent yankees game.

i like that guy’s face in the stands. leslee taught me a word for that – JOTITO.

happy friday!

this shirt would be good for flee because she’s always lmao’ing when chatting, even though i suspect her face is making no motions whatsoever while she’s typing that.

where is haywar?

i spotted this on a truck the other day.

if you can imagine the guy driving this thing and how his accent might be, then you can understand why it says haywar on the side of his truck.

warriors are finished

i could tell by about the middle of the third quarter that the warriors were slowing down. whenever i see a couple airballed three pointers (i have lots of experience with this), it’s a sign that you’re tired and don’t have your legs under you. when utah comes at you in the post with boozer, okur, ak47, millsap and harpring, you don’t have much of a prayer. those guys are big and don’t have to run much in sloan’s slowdown halfcourt offense.

it was a great run, though, and i’m excited to see what they can do next year as long as everyone comes back.

i make strange faces

when i use the restroom, i make strange faces, as i think most guys do and i’ll even toss a body shudder in there once in a while. i don’t know if i could get myself to go in a bathroom like the one below. it’s a real, working toilet with heavily mirrored walls so the net effect is a one-way mirror.

here’s the view from the outside:

and the view from the inside:

i’ll spare you a picture of the face i would so love to make inside one of these deals.

happy monday links

here’s some stories that may delay you from getting your workweek started.

us soldiers losing custody of their kids while in iraq. totally wrong [msnbc]

don nelson is still the hero this season, even though the w’s are down 3-1 [wpost]

usb home webcam/bb gun device should keep the schwan’s guy away [engadget]

you may have heard about jett travolta…here’s another sad story [cmu]

(and at least a little good news)

make your own southpark character [sp-studio]

45.2 mpg is pretty good

so i picked up a honda civic hybrid a couple weeks back. i wanted to get something with the carpool stickers so i could save some precious morning and afternoon time. with the wife finishing up school, i’m on kid duty and i could easily save 45-60 minutes each day by scooting along in the carpool lane. another side benefit is that I double the audi’s gas mileage without even trying.

on this tank of gas, i got 45.2 mpg and went over 500 miles on a single tank of gas, which is just over 10 gallons to fill up. in this age of $4 gas, this represents a huge savings. it’s a big change for me, too, because i’m starting to give in and realize that there are more important things to spend your money on besides cars. i never thought i would get to this point, but i guess everyone does eventually. i’ve had the opportunity to drive some nice cars, but i’d rather spend my hard-earned money on some more rewarding things, like my kids, wife, and house.

anyway, i’m also geeking it out and making some neat charts/graphs of my mileage with the hybrid. i’m sure you’re all anxious to see them.

sit down clown

so the warriors blew their chance in this second-round series, losing to the utah jazz at home tonight. the jazz play pretty solid fundamentally, as can be expected from a jerry sloan team, while the warriors were firing up threes like they were playing at milpitas high school on a friday afternoon. the game was pretty exciting until about 4 minutes left, when the warriors just couldn’t buy a bucket and the jazz widened their lead. the game was pretty much in hand and okur tries to add insult by dunking the ball with just a minute to go.

richardson took the opportunity to express his disgust at this turkish fool by laying him out. that was the right call for sure. i bet jerry sloan didn’t appreciate that move either. you already won the game, why try to dunk home those meaningless points.

taglish lessons anyone?

Here’s some taglish that sounded pretty accurate.

1.  Use TENACIOUS in a sentence.
I went to the shoe store to buy a pair of TENACIOUS.

2. Use DEDUCT, DEFENSE, DEFEAT,and DETAIL in a sentence.
DEDUCT jumped over DEFENSE,first DEFEAT and then DETAIL.

3. Use DEPOSIT in a sentence.
I hear dripping in the sink. I think DEPOSIT is leaking.

4. Use PERSUADING in a sentence.
Jack and Jill got married on June 1, 1997. So on June 1, 1998, they are going to celebrate their PERSUADING anniversary.

5. Use DEVASTATION in a sentence.
Every morning I wait for the bus at DEVASTATION.

6. Use IRAQ, IRAN, and EGYPT in a sentence.
IRAQ is bigger than a stone. IRAN faster than my friend. EGYPT is smaller than a truck.

7. Use PAUL four times in a sentence.
PAUL, be carePAUL, before you PAUL in the PAUL.

8. Use CUISINE in a sentence.
I hope you studied last night because our teacher might give a CUISINE math.

9. Use PAMPERS and PAPERS in a sentence.
At the gas station, some people PAMPERS and some PAPERS.

10. Use SCHOOLING in a sentence.
Ring, ring…..Hello? Who SCHOOLING?

11. Use TOENAIL in a sentence
To get to Kaneohe, you must go through Wilson TOENAIL.

12. Use PENIS in a sentence.
Before my boy go outside and play, I tell him to PENIS his homework.

13. Use EMPIRE in a sentence.
Ready! Aim! EMPIRE!!!

14. Use DEFICIT in a sentence.
When I go to the pool, I check out how DEFICIT.

15. Use HOSTESS in a sentence.
Hello? Hello? HOSTESS?!!

thanks to cath for bringing this to my attention.

paris hilton is going to jail

sure, it’s old news now and i’m not usually following these bratty kids around, but this quote i read yesterday was too good to pass up:

Yesterday a woman visiting her mum at the jail said inmates shower together and a large group of “very masculine lesbians” prey on them. She added: “This place is bad. Paris is not going to make it.” Denise Chavis, visiting her sister in the jail, warned Paris: “If you act like you’re all high-class and uppity, you’re done.”…And Hilton better hope the inmates don’t remember the videotape broadcast widely on YouTube that shows her mocking Jewish and African-American people. “She better learn to bite her tongue”…..In the big house, Paris will have to make two pairs of socks, one bra, two pairs of panties and two blue jumpsuits last for a week. “You have to take your underwear and wash them out in the shower,” said Chavis, whose sister has been in the jail for the past month on a stolen car charge.”

[taken from idlyitw]

hottest day of the year links

it was 90 degrees today and some guys are trying to organize a basketball game at lunchtime. marvelous. i stayed in to read some interesting stories like these:

the most useless cat in the history of cats [bertc.com]

turn any t-shirt into an instant ninja mask [tinypic]

11-year-old girl kills two home invaders with a gun [libertypost.org]

funny rustling noise in boy’s ear turns out to be a nest of baby spiders [news.com.au]

and

pictures of china as you may have never seen. well worth the few mins [zonaeuropa]

as if i could talk about anything else

well, the warriors are advancing to the second round after defeating the mavs tonight. i never thought this would happen in my lifetime. they were on fire, hitting all the shots and getting all the rebounds over what looked like a junior-college team. as the 3rd quarter slaughter came to an end, it was strange because the game got boring all of a sudden – mostly from them warriors having a 20-point lead. a little part of me wishes the game were closer, but then if that happened, the warriors might find a way to lose the game.

richardson had some good dunks. as the elder statesman on the warriors, he deserved it more than anyone:

and this picture is one of my favorites, because usually the roles are reversed with the white guy getting the crotch-facial from the black guy. does it really count because desagana diop is from senegal and andris biedrins is from latvia? damn straight it counts:

we’ll find out their next-round opponent this saturday. i think they can finish off the jazz or rockets, but the suns will be the true test.