dave barry explains the stimulus

dave barry is one of my favorite all-time columnists. here he explains the stimulus package:

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?

A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?

A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?

A. Only a smidgen.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?

A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn’t that stimulating the economy of China?

A. Shut up.

full article available at the miami herald, where he’s been writing ever since i could read his stuff.

zito is in the pen

 

the worst starting pitcher in all of baseball (0-6) and the highest paid pitcher in all of baseball ($126M) is the same man. i’m not proud of his affiliation with the san francisco giants, although i do hope he can bounce back this season and help the giants. matt cain was sent to the pen last year and he came out better than when he went in.

“I’m certainly not happy with it, by any means,” Zito said. “But this is the bed that I’ve made. I have to lay in it for the time being and I have to overcome. I trust management and I trust what their decisions are.”

at least he’s sacking up and taking it instead of being a wuss about it. if he was still in the rotation, i probably would have checked the paper before watching my next giants game to make sure he wasn’t pitching. hey – tickets are expensive!

barack obama plays basketball

saw this youtube vid of barack obama playing basketball. if i was on the fence between obama and clinton, i’d probably choose obama because he looks like he can play at least decent ball. he scores some plus points for the left hand shooting, but also gets some minus points for the thin, tight pants he’s wearing in the game.

countdown to weekend links

these stories should pass the last hour of work on thursday before it’s officially the start of the weekend.

interesting graphical comparison of different moods in your life [wallout]

random man in australia is distracted by google earth cam and crashes his bike [kensington]

detailed photolog of men unpacking a new apple iphone – very well done [flickr]

i wonder if the sound of the airplane engines drowns out loud sleep apnea-level snoring by passengers [singapore air]

wired readers chime in on prescription drugs they take  regularly to enhance their work performance [wired]

happy friday all!

using the right words

now, i can’t say i’m an expert at writing. for one thing – i usually don’t capitalize letters on this website unless i really want to emphasize something. also, in the course of the day chatting with friends, i might mistype a word like villanous instead of villainous. considering villainous is a 10-letter word, that’s not so bad. when you mispell a 5-letter word, though, it’s time to get some help:

on that note, you have to tip your cap to the peeps that type up the closed caption words that stream across the tv screen. they’ve gotta transcribe in near-realtime to help those whom are hard of hearing. i can’t see how the mistake below would sneak in, though – as there’s not really  any word that is even close?

maybe it’s not a mistake? just seems highly unlikely.

daughter might get the license tomorrow

everyone be on the lookout for a giggling 16-year-old on her phone in the fremont area, honking her horn and weaving in the lanes as she frantically flips through the presets on the radio between 94.9, 102.5 and 106.1 sometime after 9am pacific time.
at least when she passes her test, she’ll get a legitimate license, unlike this guy:

note to jose pacheco – use a picture of only yourself in your fake drivers license.