i have been stuck to the bed the last few days with a weird flu bug but should be back tomorrow. these stories have made me chuckle which, in turn, has freed up some of that throat phlegm. enjoy!

peta requests ben and jerry’s to use breast milk instead of cow’s milk for ice cream. it sounds gross on paper, but it would be kinda neat to see the production facility [abc news]

new nebraska state law allows parents to leave all of your children, up to age 18, at any hospital and the state will take them over without question. it was designed to prevent a baby dumpster ditch, but one man walked in and turned in 9 kids just recently [chicago tribune]

it’s sad but there are probably lots of americans dumb enough to believe this kind of political stuff and the worst part is that my vote counts the same as theirs. i don’t get more votes because i’m smarter or didn’t marry my cousin [smoking gun]

i’ve always believed that flatulence was a gift and never meant to be used in a non-peaceful manner. this guy ruined it. i also personally know a jose cruz and this sounds like something he would definitely do [smoking gun]

and

this should make anyone feel better about the state and quality of their home cleanliness [holy taco]