the big (giant) unit

i’m excited to see randy johnson pitch for the giants this season. he’s 5 victories short of 300 but still dominates hitters with a brushback chin-high zinger every once in a while. his pitch speed is down to low 90’s but i think a lot of batters are still hesitant to face him. his 2nd-half ERA last year was in the mid 2’s. he’ll also be a good tutor to the giants young arms. i’m not sure barry zito was set to be the leader yet in the clubhouse. maybe in arizona, the mullet was cool but he should get a more sf-friendly haircut before he makes his debut at att park.

SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. — The San Francisco Giants, having faced 6-foot-10 Randy Johnson more than any sadist would suggest, figured after signing him this off-season that the coast was clear. No more sidearm fastballs at their ribs. No more leg-trembling at-bats against the most intimidating left-hander of their lives.

Or so they thought. In Johnson’s first throwing session against Giants hitters on Saturday, his new teammates took a few too many pitches for his taste. Unabashedly incensed, Johnson grumbled afterward, “Swing the stinking bat!”

“Something tells me the next guy who takes a pitch against Randy’ll get a fastball right in the cranium,” one Giants player said, requesting anonymity because he preferred not to be that guy.

randy johnson loses a little off the fastball, but not the reputation [ny times]

variations of ramen noodles

as seen on digg forums…it made my mouth water a little bit (mostly thinking about the excessive salt in the flavor pouch).

I put the powder in a bowl dry, and cook the noodles and drain the water and dump it in and toss it around. We call this “janitor style” because we learned it from a janitor at the high school years ago.

I also mix worchestershire sauce or soy sauce with the powder first to make a slurry, then put in the noodles. You can also put in a big scoop of peanut butter.

I advise buying the cheapest frozen chopped corn or broccoli and mixing a handful in when you cook the noodles. That is still cheap, keeps the meal under 30 cents, and it feels like a real meal.

I have done the egg drop thing, but when I invented the peanutbutter and soy slurry, I started frying the egg and putting it on top. I was trying to make something vaguely like a Thai dish I had at a restaurant once, it tastes ok but not the same. (Use chili powder and lime juice with the peanut slurry to make it more Thai-like).

Finally, I have discovered that you can get a giant bag of the cheapest wide egg noodles, and pretty much cook them just like the ramen noodles. It takes a tiny bit longer to cook. You have to do without the flavor packets, but sauce packets left over from fast food can substitute, as well as the packets that come with some pizzas.

Parmasan cheese or grated regular cheese is also good on it. I have also tried sour cream, which was surprisingly good. If it’s about to go bad in the fridge, I’ll mix it in.

i will try these out and post the results, if i am still alive.

the difference between men and women

Friendship Among Women:

A woman didn’t come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a girlfriend’s house. The man called his wife’s 10 best friends. Not one of them knew anything about it.

Friendship Among Men:

A man didn’t come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a buddy’s house. The woman called her husband’s 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.

monday morning distractions

i always have the best intentions of starting monday morning with a bang, finishing stuff that i neglected to finish on friday and getting a bunch of stuff done…then the internet calls and starts to suck the life out of me. this is what did it today:

-> google maps tells you how to get from seattle to honolulu in ~14 days [google maps]

-> 23-year-old east coast guy defends himself from getting mugged at fruitvale bart, killing one would-be robber and injuring the other. father of killed mugger, “…wants someone to pay for this.” [sfgate]

-> although, instead of just killing your muggers, make a “muggers wallet” to give over in case you get robbed – very nifty idea [wikihow]

-> new batteries are coated with a solar charging film. when the batteries go dead, leave them on a windowsill for a short while to make them recharge [gizmodo]

-> excellent iphone app to show you the nearest coffee shops using your gps as reference. how did we make it this far in life without something like this [tweakersoft]

-> tearjerker-story-of-the-day: construction workers on the new wing of a cancer treatment center in boston paint the names of the kids on the beams as they work – at the kids requests []

-> the bart police still have some phones from that johannes meserle shooting that were confiscated and never returned. insane in the membrane first amendment violations abound! [indybay]

-> some sf supe wants to tone down the b2b race. the solution – responsible parents keeping their kids away from the whole thing like i do []

seriously, what’s the harm in seeing stuff like this?

pictures stolen from [sfgate]

almost the weekend linkage action

the nice thing about having a holiday during the week is twofold – you get the initial three-day weekend and then the following work week is only four days long. so, on that note, i’ve put in 12 hours of work this week so far and i’m officially headed towards the weekend!

-> i wasn’t going to give the octuplet mom nadya suleman the benefit of getting some space on, but i figure it’s worth it because it depicts her in an ugly, negative way [celebitchy]

-> just knowing someone’s beer preferences really indicates what kind of person they are. can we just get barack obama in for a lifetime term already? [chicago tribune]

-> someone (single) built the entire rebel separatist landing craft out of lego’s [gizmodo]

-> riding bart isn’t all that exciting as most of the seats face frontwards or backwards. in some other subway systems, thought, the seats all face each other so you can get some interesting shots [dilidoo]

-> who would have thought that people in ohio have a sense of humor? the following plates were denied by their dmv – the story has a link to all of them []

i’m proud to say that i have a lot of relatives in ohio. happy wednesday beezies.

still avoiding facebook

more and more people are on facebook now and i get a funny look from people sometimes when i say that i am not on it, because they assume that i’m riding the newest applications and computer fads. the more i hear about it, the more i am convinced that i am better off writing my own column.

i’ve seen some pictures of ex-girlfriends, former schoolmates and former co-workers on facebook (forwarded to me by friends, because you need a facebook account to even see profiles) and it’s not a pretty thing. if i wanted to hang out with you, i would be hanging out with you. if i have to find you on a social networking service, then i probably don’t have enough time in my life to make this relationship worthwhile. i think the only real benefit that facebook provides is looking at pictures of these people in my past school or work lives and seeing the transitions of the better looking girls into horribly ugly fat cows.

a time columnist pulled some of the best quotes from his “friends” profiles [time magazine]:

1. I eat tacos with a fork.
2. I was fat in middle school. The wake of that horror has yet to subside.
3. I keep forgetting that Barack Obama is our President.
4. I have been pooped on by a monkey.
5. I am addicted to the ass-slap dance move. Sometimes I don’t even notice I’m doing it.
6. When I finally told my now fiancé that I liked him (as in, liked him liked him), I drunkenly gave him the Anchorman line, “I want to be on you.” He had only seen the movie once and had no idea what it was from.
7. Just because I realize that Asian women are smarter, more attractive, and have about themselves a generally superior level of class does not mean I have a fetish. Just that I’m racist.
8. I eat gummy bears by tearing them limb from limb and eating their heads last.
9. I can’t grow hair on my arms.
10. Two of my best friends are under five feet tall and I have an intense fear of midgets.
11. I think yoga is incredibly spiritual. I know the Lord is with me in my downward dog.
12. I was born with jaundice.
13. I was born pigeon-toed.
14. I was born with an extra kidney. I wish I could have sold it on the black market and made some money, but it was underdeveloped and did nothing but cause me to wet the bed until the third grade.
15. I like to tape my thumbs to my hands to see what it would be like to be a dinosaur.
16. A horse once fell over while I was riding it.
17. I don’t believe in democracy.
18. I cried when Spock died in Star Trek II.
19. I drink two glasses of wine every night before bed. Wait, did I just admit to alcoholism?
20. If you asked me to tell you my favorite movie, I would have a hard time not saying Titanic.
21. I once sent a teacher into early retirement by pretending to be a cheetah and swiping at her from under a desk.
22. I once ran into New Kids On the Block’s Joey McIntyre in the lobby of an off-Broadway show. I told him he was the first boy I ever loved. He laughed and kind of smiled. This was the most gratifying moment of my life.
23. My friends say that when they shave my back, I purr like a walrus.
24. I don’t understand what people see in the Godfather trilogy.
25. Sometimes I think pee smells like Cheerios.

felicia estalella

that rhymes!

back in the day, girls were getting perky nips for hunky giants catcher bobby estalella. now, the guys at santa rita jail cellblock 2 are the ones getting the perky nips as they anxiously await mr estalella to join them in the exercise yard.

bobby estalella has agreed to testify against his former teammate barry bonds about the cream and the clear [espn]

*please note that am providing these pictures solely for the intended use and enjoyment for my sister and in no way does this condone or suggest that i am even remotely interested in bobby’s impressive chest and arms. thanks.

my computers from 10 years ago

i was at or near the top of the food chain when it came to computer hardware back in the day.

don’t be jealous of my ascend pipeline 50 isdn router, dual 20″ tube monitors or the 40MHz sun sparcstation 2 on my desk. my mac now has 100x the capacity of these two machines combined and is portable enough to use at the coffeeshop.