i am a long-suffering fan of the golden state warriors. i have never been to hawaii. i suck at golf. i have a good-looking wife and kids. i miss driving a car with a stick-shift transmission. i donate money every month to the aclu and eff. i am a board member of warm springs baseball in fremont. my right shoe wears down differently than my left shoe.
as i plopped down on the can this morning and cracked open the mercury news, the top story on the front page immediately caught my attention. seems like our good friend and childhood tormentor sgt luan nguyen was featured for some GOOD police work. [san jose mercury news]
the criminal in the story obviously had no idea who he was up against.
even these days, now that i am taller and heavier than he is, i would probably still flinch pretty hard if he tried to fake punch me – a sure sign of the years of physical and emotional damage that have been done.
let me recall some of my ‘favorites’. they are funny to look back on now, but not quite as funny when i was like 10 or 12 years old:
-> tri and i would play lakers vs celtics on the 286 pc after school, and he came in one day asking me to try and punch him in the face. i politely declined because i was already engaged in something else and also knew that he had ulterior motives. he then demanded it of me so i had no choice but to try and punch him. in about .003 seconds, i was a human pretzel on the ground, in pain.
-> he wanted to test out the new handcuffs from the police academy by putting them on me. i thought this would be fun to be in handcuffs just to see what it felt liked, until he walked out the door and then drove away.
-> showing me his handgun and explaining how each piece of the gun worked. showing me how he inserts a bullet into the magazine. showing me how he cocks the weapon. showing me the bullet in the chamber, ready for firing. holding the gun to my head, and one micro-instant before firing the trigger, dropping the magazine out so nothing comes out. i let out a small whimper and wet my pants a little. he walks away, cackling softly to himself.
UPDATE: nbc11 also featured the two in their evening news. notice the casual demeanor, even smiling a little, as he describes taking the man down.
its the middle of the week for me because i work from home on fridays. technically, i’m already halfway done, 4 hours ahead of the rest of you guys and girls. read the stories below to get you to the midway point.
-> everyone knows what cheesy, boilerplate ebay feedback looks like – ‘a++, item delivered, quick shipping’ and even i’m guilty of this myself. after reading this guy’s feedback, i feel inspired to write more thoughtful stuffÂ [ebay]
-> a new word for you – ‘moobs’ – it is as ugly as you think it is. it’s still technically sfw if your HR manager walks by, but you could still get canned for just being odd and looking at pictures like this [google image search]
-> get this professional template and print out a phony ‘DHS photography license’ for the next time some bart police or rent-a-cop tries to make you stop taking pictures or otherwise trample your civil rights. considering their limited knowledge and application of the law, they probably will back off after seeing this card [boing boing]
-> printing bogus DHS identification could get you in some legal trouble. luckily i’ve got some big guns who are just dying to do some pro bono work to keep me out of the waterboarding room. congratulations noah! let’s get your golf game going now to complete your ascension into law [columbia]
i remember camping up in big bear maybe 10 years ago and looking up at the night sky, amazed at how many stars i saw. living down in the valley floor full of people and congestion, i was amazed at how much i was missing. this guy strung together some pics from his eos-5d and stitched them into a movie.
Watch it at a higher quality/fullscreen here [vimeo]