congratulations chet & anna

the longhorns have an established track record of attractive and intelligent wives, and chetty has faithfully maintained that standard with anna.

more pictures to follow – i will send an email out with the link to the full zip of pics and hd movies out of my camera.

picking the wrong guy to mess with

as i plopped down on the can this morning and cracked open the mercury news, the top story on the front page immediately caught my attention. seems like our good friend and childhood tormentor sgt luan nguyen was featured for some GOOD police work. [san jose mercury news]

the criminal in the story obviously had no idea who he was up against.

even these days, now that i am taller and heavier than he is, i would probably still flinch pretty hard if he tried to fake punch me – a sure sign of the years of physical and emotional damage that have been done.

let me recall some of my ‘favorites’. they are funny to look back on now, but not quite as funny when i was like 10 or 12 years old:

-> tri and i would play lakers vs celtics on the 286 pc after school, and he came in one day asking me to try and punch him in the face. i politely declined because i was already engaged in something else and also knew that he had ulterior motives. he then demanded it of me so i had no choice but to try and punch him. in about .003 seconds, i was a human pretzel on the ground, in pain.

-> he wanted to test out the new handcuffs from the police academy by putting them on me. i thought this would be fun to be in handcuffs just to see what it felt liked, until he walked out the door and then drove away.

-> showing me his handgun and explaining how each piece of the gun worked. showing me how he inserts a bullet into the magazine. showing me how he cocks the weapon. showing me the bullet in the chamber, ready for firing. holding the gun to my head, and one micro-instant before firing the trigger, dropping the magazine out so nothing comes out. i let out a small whimper and wet my pants a little. he walks away, cackling softly to himself.

UPDATE: nbc11 also featured the two in their evening news. notice the casual demeanor, even smiling a little, as he describes taking the man down.

mid-week link distraction tactics

its the middle of the week for me because i work from home on fridays. technically, i’m already halfway done, 4 hours ahead of the rest of you guys and girls. read the stories below to get you to the midway point.

-> everyone knows what cheesy, boilerplate ebay feedback looks like – ‘a++, item delivered, quick shipping’ and even i’m guilty of this myself. after reading this guy’s feedback, i feel inspired to write more thoughtful stuff  [ebay]

-> photo essay, ‘you are what you eat’ [good.is]

-> a new word for you – ‘moobs’ – it is as ugly as you think it is. it’s still technically sfw if your HR manager walks by, but you could still get canned for just being odd and looking at pictures like this [google image search]

-> get this professional template and print out a phony ‘DHS photography license’ for the next time some bart police or rent-a-cop tries to make you stop taking pictures or otherwise trample your civil rights. considering their limited knowledge and application of the law, they probably will back off after seeing this card [boing boing]

-> printing bogus DHS identification could get you in some legal trouble. luckily i’ve got some big guns who are just dying to do some pro bono work to keep me out of the waterboarding room. congratulations noah! let’s get your golf game going now to complete your ascension into law [columbia]

fred ettish refresher

who can forget our favorite fetal fighter fred ettish? i found this updated clip on youtube – it’s a little clearer than the old one, especially in the HQ mode. i almost forgot some of the sequences in the fight, like where he gets kneed in the head like 4 times from johnny rhodes.

on that note, i noticed that gracie jiu-jitsu has a “young grapplers” program listed on their website. imagine how much marcos would love going to something like that and putting other small children into submission holds [gracie academy]

update on chuck norris

it’s been a while since we visited the favorite chuck norris facts:

  1. If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
  2. There is no ‘ctrl’ button on Chuck Norris’s computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
  3. Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
  4. Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
  5. Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay’s potato chip.
  6. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
  7. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
  8. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
  9. Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter.

and, even google understands the power of chuck norris. go to google.com and type in the search phrase “google chuck norris”. it’s a joke, but still funny. i’m not laughing out loud, though.

chuck norris facts taken courtesy of chucknorrisfacts.com

lazy sunday links

you should really be out enjoying the beautiful weather outside, but if you’re stuck with swine flu or home to watch the nba playoffs, then these links will help pass the time in between halves of the games. now that yao is out with a broken foot, the lakers will take the west and play against a tired cleveland team to win the title. bleh.

-> this site will take a specified youtube video (or give you a random one) and slice/dice it up enough to make your head spin. you’ll need a good video card to make it worth your while [yooouuutuuube]

-> after reading this article, i felt instantly inspired to start my own version here in the bay area. anyone want to join me in a monthly beef-and-bacon-party and then write about it?  [ny times]

-> while the chinese lead the world in math achievement, contribution to global warming and producing bad drivers (not to mention the loud throat-clears resulting in phlegm, trying to take over tibet and making america fat with panda express orange chicken, to name a few things), they definitely lag far behind in creativity. check out some of these copycat cars from the recent shanghai car show [telegraph.co.uk]

-> i’ve been riding bart more lately since i haven’t been driving. it’s not all that bad for some certain trips to the city. i think it will be even more useful when it finally makes it further south with the irvington and warm springs stations in fremont. i heard they are getting new trains too, so maybe we can’t put the swings up anymore [flickr]

-> amazing art all done in ballpoint pen only. who needs fancy equipment when you’re this naturally talented? coincidentally, this is the same line i used on girls when i was growing up. example pic below [crookedbrains]

keane at the fox

surprised the wife and took her out to the keane show at the fox theatre in oakland on friday night for an early mother’s day present. the band hadn’t toured in a while but they came out and put on an excellent show. there were a few acoustic sets thrown in and one acoustic guitar solo by the lead singer, tom chaplin – who managed to sweat through both his t-shirt and a light windbreaker during the performance.

this was opening night on their US tour and the cool thing is that i don’t know if they were anticipating the love they got from the crowd. i was a few rows from the stage and the guys could be seen looking at each other in between songs, almost like, ‘can you believe this?’ they seemed genuinely appreciative of the crowd roaring for more. i think there would have been a second encore if the lights didn’t turn on at the venue.

also, as i mentioned to phammy that night, there’s no doubt in my mind that this would have been us if we had stuck to playing and writing music back in the lonetree days instead of giving up and playing little tikes basketball and getting normal jobs – no doubt in my mind.

an interesting tidbit from the keane wiki [wikipedia]:

After listening to Rice-Oxley’s piano playing during a weekend at Virginia Water, Surrey in 1997, Chris Martin invited him to join his newly formed band Coldplay. However, Rice-Oxley declined because he did not want to leave The Lotus Eaters, stating “I was seriously interested, but Keane were already operational and Coldplay’s keyboard player idea was dropped.”

tri had tickets for saturday night’s show in LA but hadn’t heard back yet, as of press time, what that show was like.

i am human and need to be loved

if you are a regular reader of this blog (all 2 of you), then you know my fondness for Morrissey and The Smiths. It’s a refreshing reality check that life is not all peaches and cream – although I can’t say that it’s as bad as he talks about. In any case, I thought I would just post a pic from his new album, called “years of refusal”. i have it posted in the usual music folder if anyone wants a listen.

my good buddy frances knows how good his stories are:

Don’t rake up my mistakes
I know exactly what they are
And … what do YOU do ?
Well … you just SIT THERE
I’ve been stabbed in the back
So many many times
I don’t have any skin
But that’s just the way it goes

compare this to the current billboard #1 song from the black-eyed peas:

That digital spit
Next level visual shit
I got that boom boom pow
How the beat bang, boom boom pow


pwned

“pwnage factor 10,000,” a-rod is telling manny above.

after watching the giants get clobbered 11-1 by the rockies yesterday and seeing the big unit’s era jump to a big 5.00+, i took some particular delight in this recent news about manny ramirez:

However, two sources told ESPN’s T.J. Quinn and Mark Fainaru-Wada that the drug used by Ramirez is HCG — human chorionic gonadotropin. HCG is a women’s fertility drug typically used by steroid users to restart their body’s natural testosterone production as they come off a steroid cycle. It is similar to Clomid, the drug Bonds, Giambi and others used as clients of BALCO.

source [espn]

it’s not only knowing that he just got served a 50-game suspension in which he’ll lose an estimated $8M of his $25M yearly salary, but also knowing that he was ingesting women’s fertility drugs. haha.