brett favre cries like a girl

after feeling brett favre punch me in the nuts at about 1pm sunday afternoon, i had to go out and try to find a slanderous or demeaning picture of him just to make me feel better about things.

(my fantasy teams won today, so there’s a small 1% consolation i suppose)

speeding you towards the weekend!

some links to speed you towards the weekend brought to you by my alternate identity on FB:

-> great 140-character length short stories, as necessitated by twitter [twitter.com]

I explained to the maid that the handcuffs belonged to my 5 year old. When she handcuffed herself to my bed, I knew my Spanish was bad.

-> making marcos stand at the dinner table when he takes too long to eat doesn’t seem so cruel anymore after watching these nominations for parent-of-the-year [artsytime.com]

-> china supplies much of the rare earth metals that help build hybrid auto engines, and they are now looking to hoard it to preserve them for use within their own country. yikes [telegraph.co.uk]

…and

-> new pictures of our favorite wal-mart shoppers [peopleofwalmart.com]

10 best things we’ll say to our grandkids

1. Back in my day, we only needed 140 characters.

2. There used to be so much snow up here, you could strap a board to your feet and slide all the way down.

3. Televised contests gave cash prizes to whoever could store the most data in their head.

4. Well, the screens were bigger, but they only showed the movies at certain times of day.

5. We all had one, but nobody actually used it. Come to think of it, I bet my LinkedIn profile is still out there on the Web somewhere.

6. *

7. Our bodies were made of meat and supported by little sticks of calcium.

8. You used to keep files right on your computer, and you had to go back to that same computer to access them!

9. Is that the new iPhone 27G? Got multitasking yet?

10. I just can’t get used to this darn vat-grown steak. Texture ain’t right.

* Translation: “English used to be the dominant language. Crazy, huh?”

yo, beyonce’s links are the best evar!

-> do like i just did above for any website [kanyelicio.us]

-> someone suggesting that now unused portion of the sf bay bridge could be used as the foundation for a new small town [io9.com]

-> fellow MHS 93 alum arrested for peeping and stealing womens underwear [milpitas post]

-> woman’s day magazine posted some awesome ramen recipes. i will be trying these out and will post my favorite. and to clear things up, someone sent me the link to the article. i was NOT reading woman’s day [woman’s day mag]

and…

-> only two days a year when the sun sets in the cross streets of manhattan, named as manhattanhenge to locals. i miss new  york!

giants near sweep of rockies

barry zito pitched great last night to beat the visiting colorado rockies 10-2, which moves them 2.5 games back of the wild card. if they can win tonight, they’ll be a paltry 1.5 games back with 15 to play.

zito earned his $600,000 for the night with 9 strikeouts and just 1 walk. on a side note, barry zito earns about $200,000 AN HOUR at his job. how much do you make?

most importantly, last night’s win assures the giants will have the better head-to-head record against the rockies for the season. this means that if the two teams finished tied in the regular-season, they will play a one-game playoff at china basin, where the giants are 7-1 against them this year.

the season has gotten exciting again now that the giants are finally scoring some runs.

more funny protest video footage

i am not necessarily trying to sway you with my political view, but i think whenever someone can be exposed for being foolish and incompetent, then it deserves a spot on my site. this guy asks some probing questions about people holding their signs and they do not have any answers. it’s obviously one-sided to expose foolishness, but it’s still entertaining to watch.

note: do not watch this if you are a republican

almost the weekend again links

i know i made my dad proud last night when i cleared the kitchen sink clog without resorting to calling a plumber. i’m always worried about damaging my hands somehow because they are my livelihood, but this time i came through with just a couple scratches on my right hand.

read these while i put some lotion on:

-> what life is like with beer goggles on [college humor]

-> i always had a tough time telling people about milpitas, and how to spell it. most people couldn’t figure it out so i said san jose to make it easier. for the spanish speakers, i could always default to “little cornfields” and they would get it right, but for others it was a lost cause. i’m just glad i don’t live in cities like these [blogspot]

-> maybe the bible is easier to understand when they are recreated in legos? it might help some of the kids absorb it better too [inspirational christians]

-> google street view cameras may have caught philip garrido leaving his compound in antioch – rumor has it that he was bugged out from seeing the cars with the cameras on top driving around his neighborhood [boing boing]

-> steve nash had to disguise himself when he played some pickup ball at a local park while he was in china with an official nba delegation. this kinda reminds me of how i have to play with a disguise when i play or else i’ll be mobbed from my own fans, or the police [yahoo]

-> some of the best personalized license plates [holytaco]

obama’s socialist marxist hitler speech

there’s been a lot of hubbub over obama’s speech this morning to the school children of america. right-wingers are calling it some sort of brainwash session, reminiscent of hitler programming the nazi’s and also a way for him to push his political agenda on the young and try to make them democrats for life.

As the father of four children, I am absolutely appalled that taxpayer dollars are being used to spread President Obama’s socialist ideology,” Florida GOP Chairman Jim Greer said.

it was pretty clear from the earlier announcement that it was just him greeting school kids in the new school year and emphasizing the importance of education in their lives. parents across america were going to pull their kids out of school today, in protest that the president was speaking to their children without their consent or prior approval. that has now been been derailed as of this morning, because the white house has just released the text of his entire speech. it’s exactly as i thought it would be – something pretty simple and laid back, maybe even a little inspiring.

official whitehouse release of the speech [whitehouse.gov]

i personally know of one person who was worried about this, so she was going to escort her daughter to school and listen to this message with her, presumably to quickly cup her daughter’s ears if she detected signs of her daughter being brainwashed. she will remain nameless, although anyone close to her will know who i am referring to.

just more scare tactics by the underinformed. this was the scene back in the 1950’s:

the nice thing is that the right-wingers are getting dumber because in the picture above, at least all the signs are spelled correctly.

mmm…chipotle breakfast

when is this coming here? any time you can integrate pork into a breakfast dish, you will be appealing to most of the men out there.

apparently, this is from a chipotle at dulles airport. the airport requires all food vendors to sell breakfast so they started to experiment. i think it’s safe to say that this would be an excellent opportunity to make some more money by offering breakfast. furthermore, they should allow you to order it all day long, so on weekends you can roll in around 2pm after partying hard the night before and treat yourself to a chipotle breakfast burrito.

as you can tell, its only 930am and i am hungry already!