finger on the trigger of our nuclear weapons

these people will have their finger on the trigger of our nuclear weapons if they win the election.*

michele bachmann with the corn dog

[1] michele bachmann recently said that she would close down the embassy in iran if she was elected president. there is no u.s. embassy in tehran.

[2] michele bachmann suggested many months ago that the Revolutionary battles of Lexington and Concord took place in new hampshire. those battles were fought in massachusetts in 1775.

source: [huffington post] and [washington post]

[1] rick perry said that he would appreciate the vote from those of voting age, 21 and over. the legal voting age is 18.

[2] he also refers to november 12 as election day when it’s actually november 6

source: [sfgate]

herman cain constitution

[1] herman cain doesn’t know that the president doesn’t sign amendments to the constitution.

[2] a woman spoke of a 13-year affair with the “associate christian minister”, husband and father of two.

source: [business insider]

i’m surprised i couldn’t find newt gingrich eating a corndog or three.

*fact check: it’s actually congress that decides that, but it’s a catchy first sentence, no?

is pepper spray a fruit or vegetable?

is pepper spray a fruit or a vegetable

is pepper spray a vegetable? if it is, then it could satisfy the USDA requirements for providing a vegetable serving in our kid’s school lunches? our occupy protestors are getting their USDA suggested vegetable consumption for the day.

our majority leader republicans have classified the two tablespoons of tomato paste on a pizza as a vegetable, thus satisfying the vegetable serving requirement for children’s school lunches. the proposed requirement was 2 cups, but that adds cost to the pizzas used. the lobbyists of major food producers ConAgra and Schwans made sure that didn’t turn into law, since it would negatively impact their bottom line. the health and expanding waistlines of our children lose out to corporate profits again.

reuters says it best here [story]

coach k wins 903

coach mike krzyzewski

coach k wins 903 to be the winningest ncaa division 1 mens basketball coach in the history of the game.

i can only dream of looking as good as coach k when i’m 64.

he’s single-handedly pumped over a billion dollars into our economy with producing nba stars with big contracts and endorsement deals, along withhe sales of blue body paint of those cameron crazies.

remember, remember the fifth of november

guy fawkes mask

this is the anniversary of the failed gunpowder plot involving guy fawkes. the recent protests have adopted his mask to represent the people trying to topple our inept government, similar to the film that popularized the mask, v for vendetta.

[on a side note, natalie portman was in that movie]

natalie portman in v for vendetta

ok, now back to business:

i think i can sympathize with these protesters, but they seem a little disorganized. i think a lot of people feel that they are part of the 99%. Is this the best way of expressing their frustration with the current state of affair?. there’s lots of stuff wrong with the country (when is there not?) and the best way to show disapproval is to vote with your wallet.

bank of america tried to levy a $5 monthly fee for using your debit card, but that was quickly pulled after several hundred thousand closed their accounts and moved away to other banks and credit unions. people win when they are organized correctly.

what are the protestors protesting about?

jobs? unemployment is high, but it’s falling. craigslist in the bay area had 1200 job postings on FRIDAY ALONE. greedy corporations? they are pulling in record profits – chevron earned 7 billion in profits on revenues of 64 billion (that’s for a quarter, by the way). but if you don’t like what they do, then don’t buy chevron gas. problem solved. you can’t cry about jobs moving overseas, but then go buy your $8 monkey wrench from wal-mart. that same wrench would cost $35 if it was made here domestically.

the management of these ‘greedy corporations’ are chuckling because these protestors are still buying their chevron gas on the way home and head over to the citibank ATM to get some cash out.

what about the protestors trashing the city, like oakland? it’s less money for kids, parks and social services when it has to spend city money on cleaning that place up. then, what did your protesting actually accomplish? if you are vandalizing buildings and throwing rocks, then you probably should get some police force thrown your way. i only truly sympathize with those peacefully protesting that get roughed up. we have the right to gather peacefully and some overzealous cops forget that. you always run the risk of injury heading out to something like this.

here’s a police medic getting in on the beating action:

beat you with the wellness stick

if they want things to change, then this loose, disorganized protesting isn’t going to make anything happen. they are just getting in the way of the rest of us who have jobs and trying to live their lives.

i’m not normally too political on things but i gotta blow off some steam every once in a while. now back to the jokes:

back to the future nov 5 date


best halloween costumes 2011

it’s time to showcase this year’s best costumes:

mermaid man and barnacle boy costume

mermaid man and barnacle boy. looks like this is in the castro.

dick in a box costume

imagine trying to explain the dick-in-a-box costume to your parents or to a foreigner.

snakes on a plane costume

my personal favorite was “snakes on a plane”, although i think most non-nerdy folks would have to get a thorough explanation of what a plane is, or that there was a movie of the same name. the wife didn’t like this one as much as i did.

firefoxy costume


fantasy football costume

fantasy football

one leg costume

a one-legged girl going as a lampshade

halloween slug costume

and we’re done for this year…