if there was such a term as raticide. two rats met their untimely end in our garage over the weekend, falling victim to a peanut butter-baited trap expertly placed by mr hall. the first rat set off the trap but seemed to escape, only to be found later stuck in the crack of our garage door. the second rat, about the size of a chihuahua, was found dead in the trap a few hours later. both rats were disposed of and the trap was set again, as isaac spotted yet another rat running around the garage. i had no idea there were that many – i thought one or two, tops. i’ll take this moment to reaffirm that i am terrified of these animals, even when they are dead inside the trap. i’ll use the longest-handled shovel to dispose of them in the garbage.

this lady nearly wets herself after seeing clowns. you could substitute me for the lady and the clown for a rat, and this could be about me.